Trey and I visited a military college last weekend, and something a cadet said was helpful to me in preparing our family for a really good Lenten confession. Perhaps it will help your family, too.
A cadet’s response to a question from a parent about the Honor Code at this institution triggered in me thoughts of our Faith. The cadet had several years of experience teaching other cadets the Code and enforcing it through investigation of violations and conducting trials.
The Honor Code at the institution is quite simple: “We will not lie, steal, or cheat, nor tolerate those who do.”
“What is the most common violation against the code?” a father asked.
“There isn’t any one violation that is most common,” was the cadet’s response. “But we do notice a growing difficulty in instructing new cadets on the Code.”
“What is that?”
“Instilling in them a fundamental respect for others.”
Further explanation was that lack of respect for others–their property, their work, their right to honesty and truth–must be overcome to instill the Honor Code. The Code is what is owed to others, even more than what you must expect for yourself.
This reminded me instantly of Jesus telling His Apostles of a New Commandment before He entered His Passion:
“A new commandment I give to you, that you love another; even as I have loved you…By this, all men will know that you are My disciples.” (John 13:34-35)
We owe others what Jesus gave to us–although He owed us nothing.
This reminds me that often we look at the lists for Confession thinking how we failed God or violated a Commandment–but we need to also look at how we violated His Will for us and for others by not giving to others what He would have us owe them.
Two points there:
- His Will for us–violating what He wants for us is sinful, not only what He built into our nature and the “rules of the world” He created;
- His Will for us has been raised through Christ beyond “loving God” but also to “loving others as ourselves”–and since love is action, not sentiment, that means: what actions have we done (or not done) to love others? How have we acted to cooperate not only with His Will and desires for ourselves, but also His Will for OTHERS which He expressed by putting each of us in their paths at a particular place and time?
That’s why I love the book How to Make a Good Confession.
It is not only an inspiring (and convicting) read about the sacrament which offers tremendous insights, but it includes a whopping 17-page examination of conscience which hits just those violations of the Will of God that the shorter pamphlet lists usually don’t have room for.
Just a few examples that always strike me:
- Do I trouble others with my grievances?
- Do I spread gloom?
- Do I let my religious practices annoy others?
“Teaches us not only how to go to Confession, but also how to stir up sentiments of repentance and purpose of amendment that are necessary to receive the sacrament fruitfully. Worth reading again and again.”
Fr. Kenneth Baker, S.J.
This handy book does two things to help us have greater respect and love for others Overcoming Sinful Anger. This book does two things:
- It helps with practical tips to handle the anger and indignation that is everywhere in our world (and hard not to unconsciously absorb and reflect);
- It helps root out the sources of anger and excuses we use for ourselves.
An excellent pre-Confession resource to skim (it’s short and easily skimmable…but eminently re-readable, too).
For the young kids: we love this little Confession packet (unique to Holy Heroes!).
The booklet convicts the conscience but does not “suggest” sins nor limit them to the big ones. Open-ended questions that kids get in their hearts.
Then, to relieve the scrupulous our Confession pack includes sheets of paper with step-by-step and places to write down sins so they don’t forget–if you run out, we do have a refill pack! They contemplate in the Confession line, write down what comes to mind, and carry into the Confessional–then my kids love to tear these sheets into tiny pieces as the first step after being absolved.
Finally, this pack includes a prayer card with an Examination of Conscience and a way to recall the steps of making a good confession (great for kids who have just made their 1st Confession).
A Lenten “retreat in your home” (here’s how we do it–described in a previous blog post), this book is the one which my son, Trey, says, made him stop lying.
It is not a catechism of “rules” but an inspiration through an Ignatian approach to a personal relationship with Jesus Christ based on love–His for us, ours for Him. If you have children aged 9 & up, you should have this book in your home.
We’ve also created an online program to help your family use this book in the home.
I hope these can help your family make a Lenten confession that can open their hearts to an Easter like they’ve never enjoyed!
PS–make sure you are subscribed to our blog to receive more Catholic tips and resources!
Ken Davison created Glory Stories, which became a weekly radio series heard globally on the Ave Maria Satellite Radio Network and EWTN’s radio network, WEWN. In 2007, he and his wife, Kerri, founded Holy Heroes–and their children stepped in to help shortly thereafter to create the online “Adventures” for Advent, Lent, Spiritual Adoption, and Marian Consecration.
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