Leila Miller, the author of Raising Chaste Catholic Men: Practical Advice, Mom to Mom, sat down with young Catholic men (including three of her own adult sons) and asked them to answer a variety of questions about how they have chastely navigated today’s culture.
In the process of these interviews, she asked them to answer this particular question:
What advice do you have for (worried) parents who are trying to raise chaste boys?
Here are some of their answers:
“From the start, have an open-door policy with your boys. No question should ever be off limits. Do not shame them for wondering, and do not chastise them for being curious about the female form. “
“This one is very difficult. Obviously, the first and most important thing is for parents to pray…most young people I’ve known have left the faith for sexual reasons. They slept with someone, decided not to go to confession, and that was it.”
“Talk to your boys about sex and love, and do not shy away from it. I know many parents who decided not to talk to their children about sex until they are such-and-such an age, and then then it’s a one-time, vague conversation…when this happens, your children will learn more about sex from their friends at school and teachers in health classes than from you.”
“Do not be afraid to teach basic female anatomy to your sons…if you do not teach them about this stuff, they will inevitably take to the Internet to find out for themselves and will be exposed to some very nasty stuff in the process.”
“Set clear rules about technology use, and acceptable behavior with women, but don’t criminalize their sexuality.”
“When boys are educated in chastity, it needs to be done in a way of understanding their bodies, and it should be open enough for them to ask questions. If the education is too harsh, they may become ashamed of their bodies…if the education is too lax–or worst, if there is no education–then the boys will learn from the culture. It is important that this is not a one-time ‘talk’ and nothing else.”
The rest of the interviews, which include answers to questions like “what is the biggest challenge you face in regards to chastity?” and “what is your advice to boys trying to navigate this unchaste culture?”, can be found in Leila Miller’s book.
This is a difficult topic and one that many, many Catholic parents worry about constantly. Modern culture is nothing but a minefield for young boys and their parents trying to navigate the temptations as faithful Catholics.
If you have young boys and are wondering how you can possibly help them grow into chaste Catholic men, Leila Miller has so much practical advice to help. In addition to these interviews with 20-something year old Catholic men, Miller’s book also includes topics like:
–Masturbation
–Navigating Pop Culture
–Recognizing the place fear has in this realm of parenting
–“The LGBTQ Question”
–Reacting when things go wrong
Miller’s goal with her book is to reassure parents that they are up for the task of raising sons! Even in today’s culture, when it can seem a nearly impossible task, you have been hand-selected by God as the parent for your boys and you are capable of that task.
You can find more parenting books (including Leila Miller’s second book “Made this Way: How to Prepare Kids to Face Today’s Tough Moral Issues”) here.
