What I have Learned from my College Daughters

I must admit: the things I heard from my older girls often shocked me…. what they heard discussed in the cafeteria, between classes, in the dorms.

I went to college and graduate school, living in houses full of college girls. But what I was told and asked about was completely new and frequently left me shaking my head. Where did these ideas come from?

Then over the years, as all 7 of my daughters have left home for college and dorm life, and then several have got married and begun to have adult female (and married) friends, I began to notice how much things have changed.  What I heard started to sound familiar—if it was still nothing I had ever heard from girls my age in my own teen and college years.

I realize it is not a problem with “some young women” these days. It’s not that at all.

Not at all.

It is the culture around us and the confusion it has created in the minds of women who are trying to offer themselves in love and marriage to men who want to love these women—but they have been confused and confounded in how to do it… and they don’t even know it!

That’s why I hope this class for women only—for those who are going to be married or who are already married–is so much needed!

My Delight For Catholic Wives is such a program to bring more intimacy, joy, and pleasure in marital sex. It is taught by Sarah Bartel, a wife of twenty-five years and a mother of five children, who has over fifteen years of experience in couples and family ministry–and she has a Ph.D. in Catholic Moral Theology. That is HUGE! I cannot imagine a better background to help women in this area.

I asked Sarah Bartel (who provides the marriage programs I have promoted over the past years!) to re-open a special registration for her program on marital intimacy for you—a program for ADULT WOMEN ONLY (so you can be blunt and honest, being comfortable that it’s confidential and likely you’re asking the questions that are on the minds of other women just like you!).

It’s called My Delight for Catholic Wives (inspired by the Song of Songs in the Old Testament). It starts on Ash Wednesday this year, Feb. 18th, and we have a special arrangement for you to be able to enroll through Friday, Feb. 20^th (even though her public enrollment officially closes Feb. 12^th).

We want and need strong Catholic marriages in which to raise strong and joyful Catholic families.

Yes–you can share this blog post (please: with adult women only!!) You never know which of your friends need reliable help based on God’s desires for their intimacy with their husbands. Sarah is giving a special 30% off discount on her program to Holy Heroes families. Use coupon code HOLYHEROES30, and learn more about My Delight here.

Sarah has a good handle on what a lot of Catholic wives are experiencing, and she KNOWS the big questions and needs–you can download her FREE Enhancing Marital Intimacy guide. This is truly a great opportunity to get reliable Catholic advice.

Sarah and I have corresponded about what we’re seeing in the culture that has confused women about their intimate sex lives with their husbands (and the questions she has been asked recently in the coaching she provides).

What has changed in the world since I was young?

When I was growing up, pornography had not yet taken over our culture; now our culture is awash with it. It has changed how people view sex, what they think is loving and acceptable in relationships—even for those who do not view pornography, but just interact with other young adults and have been formed in the world we inhabit today!

Just listen to any secular internet show, talk show, or comedian. The conversations almost always involve something about sex that is mortally sinful. It has infected every part of our lives. For many it has affected their intimate lives, or the way they view themselves and their spouses.  It has hurt families and marriages in ways that are so very personal that many people do not even talk about it, nor do they know where to turn for guidance and help.

There are antidotes to this poison in our culture. Pope Saint John Paul II’s Theology of the Body has helped so many understand the true and beautiful meaning of marital intimacy, but honestly, there this a big difference between knowing what Theology of the Body says, and what it really means, in practice, in a marriage in the environment in which married couples live today.

In practice, marital intimacy is supposed to be pleasurable and enjoyable: The Creator himself established that in the generative function, spouses should experience pleasure and enjoyment of body and spirit. Therefore, the spouses do nothing evil in seeking this pleasure and enjoyment. (Catechism of the Catholic Church 2362)

However, how often does marital intimacy fall short of that for many women and couples? And yet, a wonderful intimate life is an important part of building a strong marriage, and consequently, a strong family. What can be done? Well, I am here to recommend help for Catholic wives (and soon-to-be wives) that can help far beyond anything you could have imagined.

Being happy in your marriage and your intimate life is foundational to marriage, but for many it takes some information and coaching. With Sarah, you can get both. Sarah is giving a special 30% off discount to her program to Holy Heroes families. Use coupon code HOLYHEROES30, and learn more about My Delight here.  Remember, join by Friday, February 20^th, 2026 in order to build a stronger intimate life starting this Lent!