Parents: A Therapist Reviews A Must-Have Book

When my younger brother, Trey, was a pre-teen, he was playing basketball at his friend’s house one afternoon.

A neighbor boy, who was about their age, sauntered over and asked, “Hey, do you want to look at pictures of naked girls on my phone?”

Trey and his friends declined and immediately went inside to get away from the kid.

Later, Trey’s friends’ mother went over to the neighbor’s house and told the boy’s mother what had happened.

However, the boy’s mom did not think there was anything to be concerned about: “That’s his uncle’s phone, not his phone. So that’s his uncle’s business–he can do whatever he wants.” End of discussion, as far as she was concerned.

Needless to say, Trey’s friend’s mom was horrified (not just at the lack of concern, but also the lack of clear thinking). Here is a handy PDF printable you can share with friends and neighbors to educate them on the dangers of pornography.

The incident led to several conversations about the dangers of online pornography among the various families involved.

It also awakened all to a most important recognition:

Protecting children from those seeking to turn them into internet pornography consumers is not as simple as filtering/monitoring/protecting the technology used within our own families, though doing so is important–vitally important. [NOTE: to use the software that we use on our home and office computers, phones, tablets–with a 30-day free trial to see whether it suits your family–click here.]

Filters are necessary, but not sufficient in themselves.

Just as important: Our children also need to know what pornography is and how to turn away from it wherever it may be and however it may be introduced to them.

So: How can you protect your children?

We’ve found a great resource: age-appropriate, not embarrassing for children or adults, clear, simple, and actionable.

As a mental health counselor, I am no longer shocked when I hear stories like my brother’s. Online pornography is ubiquitous, and younger-and-younger children are being exposed to it both accidentally and through others bringing it to them intentionally–whether they mean any harm or not and whether they are even old enough to know better.

Furthermore: although I am a relatively new therapist, I have already learned from experience that children viewing and seeking out pornography can become a problem even in good Catholic families. People are people, and on this earth, we share a fallen human nature. The allure of sin is not easily resisted nor overcome.

That’s why I was so excited when my dad told me we are now selling Good Pictures, Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids.

Our friend, Matt Fradd, who is an expert on porn, recommended this book as the best thing available today.

There are so many solid things in this book that I find absolutely crucial to protecting children.

I could list so many–but here are just FIVE things about it that I must share with you:

1. This book is appropriate for children who have not yet received “the talk.”

Pornography is so prevalent that we suggest you warn and talk to your children about pornography early. However, there is also no need to tell a very young child all about the “facts of life,” while doing so. This book does a great job explaining what pornography is in a gentle, age-appropriate way!

2. It helps build open communication between parents and children.

Good Pictures, Bad Pictures tells the story of a conversation about pornography between parents and their child, modeling how to talk about this uncomfortable topic. There are also some great communication tips for parents, as well as discussion questions at the end of each short chapter. AND the book outlines a plan for children to follow if they are exposed to pornography, which includes telling their parents (more on this later!).

3. It teaches children the addictive potential of pornography use.

I was amazed by the book’s fantastic explanation of addiction! I’ve noticed that many explanations of addiction make it sound either like something people can’t do anything about or make addiction sound like it is completely the addicted person’s fault. However, this book does a great job of providing a compassionate, yet realistic, picture of addiction that is age-appropriate. Also, kids learn how they can utilize their “thinking brain” to help protect themselves from succumbing to addiction.

4. It is not an overtly religious book.

“Wait, why exactly is that a good thing, Virginia?” you might wonder. Well, because this book is scientifically-based, it equips your child (and you) to explain your beliefs about the dangers of pornography to non-Christians (or Christians who don’t think pornography is a problem). This book is yet another example of how science and Catholicism mutually agree with each other, that what we learn about the human brain through science supports what we know about the human person through the teachings of the Church! This is another important lesson for your children.

5. It gives your child a plan to follow if they encounter pornography.

This is HUGE, Mom and Dad. Children often feel guilty and embarrassed after seeing pornography, even if it wasn’t their fault. They typically aren’t sure what to do or how to talk about it with parents. Their indecision only makes things worse. They begin to think their confused delay makes them culpable, so guilt and shame increase and begin to snowball in their minds–which leads to more delayed confusion and shame. Children need to know what to do: they need to have a plan! The five-step plan outlined in this book is easy-to-remember, psychologically sound, and includes notifying parents or other trusted adults.

Basically, if you have children, you need this book! You can buy a copy for your family here.

As I mentioned before: you also need to protect your family from online pornography by using an easy, effective filtering and monitoring service called Covenant Eyes. It has worked great for us AND you get a 30-day free trial. Learn more here!

Don’t wait to buy this book and check out this service! Unfortunately, online pornography is not going away anytime soon… Protect your children!

P.S. Do you have kids aged 3-6? There’s a Good Pictures, Bad Pictures Jr which has the same benefits but is written at a level suitable to this age group, with a “plan of action” for kids this age, too. Excellent. So sad that in today’s world we need to address this topic with our littlest ones, but phones with videos and pictures are everywhere and in the hands of other children. Please, don’t delay because of the age of your children!

Bio
Latest Posts

Virginia

Virginia has her M.A. in Counseling and currently works as a therapist at a Catholic counseling agency, specializing in working with children (and their parents), teenage girls, and mothers. She also gets some very "hands-on" experience parenting her two young children - who have become Holy Heroes fans! As the eldest of the "Adventure Guides," she has played a big part in developing so many Holy Heroes products and adventures. She wrote the scripts for lots of "Adventure" videos, as well as writing and directing the first "Inside the Sacraments" video (The Holy Eucharist). She wrote Glory Stories Volume 8, "Best-loved Catholic Prayers and Prayers of the Mass," and Volume 13, "Secrets from Heaven - The Story of the Children of Fatima" (her favorite!). Most recently, she co-created the Holy Heroes Spiritual Adoption Adventure with her former college roommate. She continues to enjoy blogging for Holy Heroes.